Should Men Bring a Gift on the First Date?

If you’re following the codes of classic chivalry, then yes, men can bring a gift on the first date. But how does this gesture play out in today’s dating scene? As we all know, the rules have changed. What was once considered sweet can now seem creepy and overeager. With the laid-back culture of casual meetups, romance has become a lot more, shall we say, lukewarm. So, can you really bring back the old-school tradition of bringing flowers and chocolates for someone you just met? It’s safest to say no-- at least most of the time--but there are some exceptions to the rules. Let’s explore the matter further…

If you’ve been chatting online for a while

What if you’ve been speaking to her online for some time now? Some guys prefer to build a rapport with women over the course of a week before asking a woman out. No problem! In this case, you’ve probably already established some common ground with her before your date.

At this point, you can somewhat sense of what type of woman she is. Do you feel like she’d be freaked out by a strong display romance so early on? Odds are she would be-- especially because most women have been rattled by a Stage 5 clinger or two. You don’t want her to worry that you might be her next! In this scenario, you probably shouldn’t bring a gift on the first date.

However, if you feel like she’s been extremely warm, flirty and responsive to you, then it may be safe to bring a gift. Just be warned that she still may find this gesture a tad too optimistic for a first date.

If you’ve established an inside joke

Maybe your texting antics have conjured up some jokes between you two. That’s awesome! Bonding through humor is an early sign of compatibility and mutual attraction. If you want to continue this flow for your first date, you can bring a gift that relates to your witty banter.

For example, if she has a fear of flying and you happen to be a pilot, you can bring her a flying souvenir like an airplane key chain. She’ll likely find this gesture amusing because the gift plays on an inside joke. In this scenario, bringing a gift on the first date would be acceptable, not creepy.

If it’s a casual first date

Let’s look at the final possibility: a casual first date. You two have been chatting for a bit, not too long, and have decided to put your chemistry to the test. If you arrive with a gift on the first date, and it’s a standard first-time meeting, you’ll appear too intense and pushy. A gift signals the idea that there’s a level of comfort and familiarity between you two. If that connection has not yet been established, you should save your gift for another time. It’ll be better suited for when you have built enough rapport with her. All in all, if you’re a guy wanting to bring a gift on the first date, proceed with caution. Your honorable intentions can easily be viewed as clingy right for the start. Unless you two have been chatting for awhile or are on joking terms, it’s safest to avoid bearing gifts.