Do I let a guy pick me up for the first date?

First dates are a gamble-- there’s no question! Too often, what we hope to be a successful meetup can quickly turn into spooksville or a harsh dose of bashed expectations. We feel you! It’s no wonder why more women are becoming skeptical about letting a guy pick you up on the first date. As many of us know (sadly), there’s few things in life more cringing than having to ride home with a guy who unknowingly made it to your blocklist. Shame! To avoid these awkward dating scenarios, let’s take a closer look at when it’s okay to accept a first-date pickup.

If you two are familiar

Have sparks been flying for awhile? Great! If this is the case, it’s likely that you two have some stuff in common, along with some good feelings about each other's personalities. At this point, you’ll know if you find him talkative and engaging, and if so, having him pick you up for the first date is harmless. In fact, it’s likely that you two can use the car ride to build on your chemistry, helping to ease the tension. However, there’s always still the chance that the date takes an unexpected turn into snoozeville or worse, a nightmare of sinking sparks. If you’re not a go-with-the-flow lady who can shrug off this disappointment and casually cruise back home, don’t ride with him in the first place.

If you two have spoken on the phone

A clearer sign of potential chemistry is if you’ve already spoken on the phone with him. It works as a much stronger indication of potential fireworks. Since you’ve already spoken in real time, you’ll probably know if your first car ride together will feel comfortable and natural. This is why it’s often recommended to have a phone chat with him before committing to a date.

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If you’ve known him for less than a week

Here’s where we say, proceed with caution. If you two have not been chatting long, you don’t really know what type of talker or flirter he is. So, there’s always the chance that you’ll be entering a bad first date and the downer is that you’ve already commitment to riding with him-- yikes! In these cases, we recommend not having the guy pick you up on the first date. It’s safer to just meet up and feel out the connection, and then ride home together if you dig him.

If you don’t really give a F

Maybe your motto to dating is “seize the day!” Okay, all the power to you! So then you probably won’t worry much about the date going south, and having to cruise back home with him. You can simply accept that the attraction wasn’t there, and shrug it off on the way home. But keep in mind, if he’s taking you back home, he may want to snag a kiss. Will you refuse? Make sure you’re prepared for this situation before letting a guy pick you up on the first date. Or if you’re truly bold, you can calmly tell him that you didn’t feel the spark after the date is over, which saves you from having to dodge his first move. The dilemma of letting a guy grab you for your first date is always a tricky move. Consider all the possible variables before making any rash decisions. You don’t want to get stuck in yet another “joy” ride, fraught with forced conversation and crushed expectations.